The Blog Of Doom

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Location: Castle Doom, Latveria

Sunday, August 13, 2006

ACTION!

Doom would now like to review some movies, and pontificate.

Pirates of the Carribean II: Yarrr! Great movie, but you would have had to seen the first one to get a lot of the jokes. Can't wait for the third one, what with the cliffhanger. The cannibals and island were great, but reminded Doom too much of King Kong. Funny scenes, good action. Undead monkeys, great action scenes. A side-bar for a second: Doom was meandering through the local Latverian Blockbuster and saw this title on the shelves, oh-so-close to Lilo and Stitch: Pirates. Looks like "of the Carribean," but with less clothes. The plot line is exactly the same (except with Incan Gold) and the cover looks exactly the same, but it's....

PORN!

Now that's funny.

Superman Returns: Wow. Good storyline, did something no other Superman movie did: Superman has a son. Who likes to crush people with pianos.

Clerks II: By far, one of the funniest movies Doom has seen in a while. One word for you: Pillowpants.

Sky High: Hey, it was free. Not the crapfest Doom expected. Interesting take on Superheroes. Doom sees good things for the villains, as soon as they get out of detention. There was even one who could stretch like Richards. He will, of course, die first.

Butterfly Effect: Highly depressing. Doom has a theory: whenever a comedic actor (like Ashton "Dude, Where's My Car?" Kutcher or Robin "JUMANJI!!!!!" Williams) has a "serious role" in a movie, they grow a beard. Do yer research and you will see Doom is always right! 'Nuff said..

Doom: Despite having a great title, this piece of crapulence served no point whatsoever. Has the future not heard of night-vision googles? But they have apparently abolished underwear for women, so a point in that column. The storyline was ridiculous and took the entire time to come to the point. The "first-person" shooter POV was stupid and looked like crap. The Rock does play a good increasingly-psychopathic Sarge and the fight scene at the end was pretty good.

Ultraviolet: Ugh. The special effects sucked and served no purpose. The storyline was ridiculous. Crap on a stick.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: Greatest stoner flick ever. Hi-larious!

Grandma's Boy: Monkey, do you know Donkey Kong?

Unleashed: Jet Li in a dog collar, had killer kung-fu action.


Can Doom talk about The Hills for a second? LC threw away an entire career so she could be with the guy with the High School Beard. Stupida. That's Doom's only political statement for now.
Snakes on a Plane is next, beeyotch. And Doom got a phone call from Samuel L. himself.