The Blog Of Doom

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Location: Castle Doom, Latveria

Monday, October 25, 2004

Buffoonery

The Red Sox are 2 games away from complete victory. Doom laughs at curses! Did Doom cower when the aboriginal witchdoctor cursed Doom with boils? No! Doom laughed at him and showed him Doom's size 12's! He made an excellent fertilizer to Doom's garden. Oh yes, YANKEES SUCK. As does Richards. Buffoon.

Doom has also started to read Marvel 1602 and Doom is impressed. Doom's ancestor, Otto "The Handsome" Von Doom attempts to rule the world (of 1602). The Ultimate Fantastic Four TPB has also been interested, although Doom is barely in it.

The Green Behemoth that has plagued Doom also has his own blog, curse you HULK. It is rather humorous, but it is annoying that he continues to talk in the third person. Only Bob Dole did that...buffoon. Doom has spoken.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Son Of Jor-El, Kneel Before Doom!

Greetings, peasants. Doom here. First off, The Boston Red Sox are in The World Series. This is a time to be remembered. The greatest team in the world has ascended.

Another excellent episode of Smallville last night. Bart Allen, The Flash, has visited Clark Kent. Perhaps a call to Lex Luthor (we play golf twice a week) will enlighten him to the goldmine that is right in front of his bald-pated nose. If only Doom can harness the power of this...Superman.

It has also been called to Doom's attention that an..actor has been cast in the role of Doom in the so-called "Fantastic Four" movie. Julian McMahon from "Nip/Tuck," "Profiler" and "Charmed" will play DOOM. More on that another time. Also, Doom's future wife Jessica Alba will play Sue Storm.

Friday, October 08, 2004

This is all Richard's fault

Greetings. This is Doom. Victor Von Doom. Since you have found this "blog," Doom can only assume that you possess the intelligence to comprehend Doom's words.

Everything that has befallen Doom can be put on the shoulders of one man. No...not a man. A buffoon.

This buffoon's name. Reed Richards. Just the very thought of Richards made Doom destroy another Doombot. And they are very hard to train. This buffoon, unable to master time travel or advanced astrophysics (as Doom so obviously has), decided to take his girlfriend, her brother and his best friend up into space in a stolen government ship. Oddly enough, they were never prosecuted for their national treason. This ship (whose shields were evidently made out of toilet paper) was bombarded with radioactive particles that changed them. Not giving them a rare form of leukemia, but instead powers. Stupid powers.

"Oooh look at me hot girlfriend, I can stretch!!" Doom is talking as Richards, although the bile is beginning to flow up Doom's windpipe.

Now, Doom has conquered time travel. Rescued His damned mother from hell. Rules an entire country with an iron fist. But does Doom have powers? Nay, Doom has no need for them!!

Fools! One day Doom shall rule you all....